This is the fattest you've ever been

March 23rd 2010 I walked into Xplore CrossFit and changed my life.  Within a few weeks of training I started eating paleo without really knowing what it was and I started losing weight and changing my body.  Then I started tinkering, with diet and programming.  I moved away from my gym and athlete I was so proud of and now after a brutally honest conversation with Jordan..."this is the fattest you've ever been" with a look that said lez be honest.  I want to be a legitimate competitor and it is a tough pill to swallow that I have let myself go to the point of not even having a chance this year.  I am angry and hurt.

So here we go on a new paleo adventure.  Today is day one and I have decided to Carpe Diem the shit out of this day and every other day.  I need to acknowledge some sticky spots.

#1 Thanksgiving:  Its going to be rough to change my relationship with food especially around the holidays and family, but in the words of Barney Challenge....accepted.

#2 Sugar:  Always a problem and it has been legit 3 years since I cut sugar out for a significant amount of time.

Suit up bitches.

November 24, 2013
158.8
Caliper measurements hopefully coming soon.

 

10/31

Training (scheduled for Friday but due to commitments this weekend I can't workout on Saturday)

70% 1 rm Snatch x2 OTM x12 37k (Felt heavy at first, I got some correction from Jordan and they made a huge difference)

30 Ring Dips @3010 red band according to Jordan they were too easy so I will use less band next time

10 False grip strict pull ups turn out on bottom - these were rough broken up into singles by the end I could turn out and stay in false grip with right hand but couldn't get the left to cooperate.  These are extremely frustrating for me and need more attention I feel.

4x25 Back x (2:00)
2x25 Ghsu
I had to go back to work so I didn't have time to complete, I will get them in 11/1

Food Intake:
0600 2 eggs (coconut oil), 2 slices bacon, strawberries, cherry tomatoes + water
0700 coconut milk latte
0830 strawberries
1100 workout
1230 protein shake
145 1/2c rice, chicken breast, bell pepper
245 Halloween baked goods (1 cookie, 1 1/2 slice pumpkin bread, small square of pumpkin crumble thing, cupcake) it was a lot but we were taste testing.
2100 cashews and 2 slices turkey

10/30

AC surprisingly not as bad as I thought!  I am still super sore from Monday...welcome back to real training JMoney (yes I call myself JMoney).  I've been super tired lately...I feel like I get no time at home to decompress and that trend continues as I will be running all weekend for my military event to make sure I am a stable human being.  Kim is being super supportive and that is amazing.  I went to the Sounders game last night and it was awesome.  

Training:

10 min Z1 AC

5 min AC for cals 77

10 min Z1 AC

OT2

5 pull ups

10 push ups

15 Air squats

x7

Round average was 38.4s

After getting over my soreness I felt really good not overly fatigued.  I attempted my butterfly pull ups in one round and effed up so I stuck to standard kip.  Push ups didn't really break down until maybe round 8-9 I was actually shocked.

10 min Z1 AC

Food Intake:

0600  2 eggs cooked in rib eye fat (yum), cherry tomatoes, banana, 2 strips of bacon

0700  2 shot Americano

0800 24 Alms

0900 strawberries

1230 3-4oz chicken, 1 potato, 1 bell pepper

430 Training

645 5oz chicken, 1c wild rice, veggies (zucchini, carrots, kale)

0830 1/4 lb cinnamon glazed alms -maybe not the best choice here but better than anything else I could get at the game.

Today is a scheduled rest day but I have to workout as I have that military event this weekend so I'll be hitting the gym today and Friday to get it all in...same thing next week...maybe after that things will calm down.

Still super happy with life.

10/29

Taught a class today at Xplore...pretty excited about that, it was small but went well.

Training:
4 min max false grip strict pull ups (4) this was/has been a big weakness of mine.  At least I can climb in to the grip now but my upper body gets extremely fatigued right away.

7 PC
7 FS
7 PP
15 AC cals
10 Burpees
x6 (9:00)

The goal was to find a weight where you could keep your split times in between 2:00- 2:30.  I did all sets at 35k [2:14, 2:02, 2:05, 2:06, 2:06, 1:59] this was horrible I felt like my burpees were in slow motion.  I'm sure had they been on video they would have look slow motion.

Food Intake:
600 2 eggs cooked in ghee, 2 strips of bacon broiled in oven, handful of cherry tomatoes, 1 banana, 12oz water
700 Coconut milk latte
900 strawberries
1100 Taught Class
1215 salad w/ turkey deli meat, 1/2 hard boiled egg, tomatoes, 1/2 avocado (no dressing) 2 slices California roll
1745 Protein shake
1945 3oz glass red wine
2000 almonds ~10
2020 Rib eye, 1c rice, salad w/ tomatoes + red wine vinaigrette, 2 small pickles

Today should be interesting with all the AC work and I forgot my protein so....not looking forward to this.

I'm Home

I'm posting from work today as I do not have internet at home yet, but soon which will make this much easier.  This weekend I moved to West Seattle and I feel at home.  I wake up everyday with a smile.  It is amazing to look forward to work, home, the city, and friends.  I am truly happy.  I was supposed to test for SFD on Sunday, it would appear fate had a different plan.  Anything that could possibly get in the way of me taking the test happened and I eventually had to be okay with the fact that I wasn't going to make it.  For the first time in my life I am going to go with things as they are and not have a plan B and I think that is adding to the calm joy I am feeling now.

Anyway, I have started to dial in the eating and training on the competitor program.

Food Choices for 10/28:

600:  2 eggs cooked in ghee, cherry tomatoes, banana, glass of water (12oz)
700:  Unsweetened coconut milk latte
930:  3/4c strawberries, 24 almonds
1300:  California Roll (maybe 6 slices)
1630: Training
1745: Protein shake
1900:  Moroccan stew w/ cauliflower rice + 1 cider
2100: 3ish mango slices
+ 80ish oz water

Training:
A1 Neutral Grip DB bench @3010 x6-8 x4 (1:00) 35#
A2. Scap pull up + pull up x4-6 x4 (1:00)
B1. Ring Dip @30X1 x3-5 x3 (1:00) -blue (small)
B2. Bent over BB row @2021 x4-6 x3 (1:00) (30K)
+
10 PC 40k
10 Sup CTB
x3

5:38

Scap pull up + pull up I did without a band, they were effing rough.  Dips were rough, I was concentrating on getting deep in the bottom.  Finisher was not as bad as I thought it'd be...because I suck at CTB I had to break it up into sets of 2 and 3.  Overall I felt good.  Looking forward to two workouts on Tuesday....

Ted...the way you talk

Today I revisited a Ted talk with the intent to listen and allow myself to process the information instead of just looking for entertainment and moving on with my day.  I listened to Vulnerability and it was truly insightful.  She started off with lean into the discomfort and I definitely shy away from that because well its uncomfortable.  I'm not sure what I want to say about this video or if I've truly digested the lessoned learned.  She said we can't be selective numb-ers (my word).  There is no numbing painful feelings without numbing the good feelings too.  I think I have been doing this for a while now.  Afghanistan is a great example...I never let myself truly feel in that environment.  There was no great fear, pain, or joy.  I met some amazing people and let 1 in, having more meaningful conversations than is that Paleo bro?  I was happy to be home, but I didn't feel what I thought I would...I thought I'd cry when I finally saw my fam but honestly I had to search deep inside like where are these feelings?!  It honestly scares me to admit it.

I think with Kim I've been numbing a lot.  I numb the good and the bad...the fact is that I never wanted to be in Olympia.  I blame her for my resentment and unhappiness that last few years (ish) but truly I should have been honest and told her that I had no desire to be there.  I long so badly to have a life partner.  I WANT to get married and have that life but more often than not I think I'll just be an old spinster.  Am I just better off alone?

Brene also talks about believing you are worthy and I think that is a major block right now in my CF training and nutrition.  I am strong and have talent, but I don't really think I'll make it anywhere or be any good.  I think my safe spot is to be mediocre...need to fix that aspect of my mental game.

Things to work on:
-Let myself be seen (who I am)
-Love with a whole heart even though there is no guarantee
-Practice gratitude and joy- be alive
-Believe I am enough

Vulnerability

Critical Juncture

Critical Juncture

I have decided to change this blog a tad to be a more personal blog versus just a training blog.  Of course my primary focus will still be my pursuit of  elite fitness, but I will be writing about life, work, books, and more.

Normally I just read books, I don't try to think deeper or highlight parts and think about them later.  I've never really had a deep intellectual conversation about a book I've read and honestly I fear my brain doesn't work that way but I want to actually get more out of what I am reading.  The goal initially with reading was to improve my reading because I am a slow reader and comprehension wasn't awesome.  I feel like I improved my skills and now I want to look for and pull important pieces out of the books I read.  I want to be able to have a meaningful conversation about the books I'm reading.

I told Kim that I am moving to Seattle, it was a rough week.  We have decided to try long distance at first lets see each other 1x a month was discussed.  Okay I can handle trying that and now it has evolved and turned into we are still full fledged relationship and lets see each other more than 1x a month, well I'm not sure I can be on board with that situation.  There are a lot of emotions and thoughts there that I haven't even began to touch.  I am excited to move to Seattle and be on my own and able to think clearly without other things weighing heavy on me.  I've looked at two places so far and I am really excited for the apartment I am going to look at today.  Fingers crossed it is the one!

I am on day 8 of my cleanse/ 24 day challenge and I feel good.  I am doing really well on the plan.  I've just been working out at home, looking forward to starting up crossfit when I start work next week.  Jordan started posting on a new fb community programming for competitive athletes.  I am hoping that he has a time set aside for 'competitors' to do this programming during the day.  I spoke with Donk and she said optimal workout time would be mid day so if it isn't possible for me to get in and do the competitor training, I think I will be doing the 11am class, work permitting.  

Donk and I were also talking about nutrition.  It seems so simple, cut and dry to her.  Everything seems so convoluted in my head.  Like I know so many piece parts and not enough whole facts about nutrition.  Jordan and I were talking while I was in Afghanistan and he made mention that to this point I just haven't found the right combination of nutrition and programming.  Mind blown...I agree, either I am messing with my nutrition and sticking to a food or failing on food and programming or doing good on food and fucking with my programming.  I am actually looking forward to not having to question my programming.  Whatever Jordan says/ recommends thats it I'm in no questions.  Food wise, I have 16ish more days left of the challenge and then Donk and I decide to experiment with her coaching me a bit.  She seems to have figured it out for herself and this will also give her an opportunity to think critically as a coach (which was something she had said she wishes she could do more of) and for me I can gain some understanding of food and timing that is effective for training purposes but also healthy for my body now and long term.  She keeps joking about the 6 pack challenge that we used to have with Pete but honestly I am so so far from that it is depressing.  I don't think I have ever been close haha...it would be nice though a dream at this point not a goal because I have confidence issues with actually attaining it.  

And in true cliche crossfit fashion I am still searching for the elusive Muscle Up.

For now I am reading the Pat Tillman story and when I finish that I will be reading The Fault in Our Starts.  Looking forward to reading that one.

Where's the LOVE

It has been over 2 months since I have written a blog about crossfit.  I must admit for a while I lost the love.  Today I started my 24 day Advocare challenge.  Today I am pretty excited and full of hope for some changes coming very soon!

First, I got a job in Seattle which will give me the opportunity to be in the city I love again.  I am excited for the opportunities this job offers and shortly I plan to move back up to Seattle.  That part is presenting some stress currently.  I am not looking forward to telling Kim but at the same time I want to live in Seattle so badly.  When I go home in a few days I will be dealing with that and starting the new job on the 21st. 

I get to be back at XCF, the only gym I've truly wanted to be a member of and my loyalty definitely has stayed there.  I lost the love but am definitely getting it back.  I texted the coach today and asked if he was going to train for the games this year and he said yes.  That makes my heart and mind want to burst.  I finally feel like I am in the right space.  I am coming home to XCF.  I anticipate that I'll be single in the near future as a move to Seattle in not conducive to my current relationship.  Selfishly, this frees my up to pursue my goal of making it to Regionals.  My loyalty and trust has been with XCF even when I was gone and I am so happy to finally be back.

More to blog about later.  I just had to get this off my chest and share this great video.  BEAUTY IN MOVEMENT!!

You got to want it

Tis the season, it is games time and I have spent the last 4 hours downloading and watching any video of the games I can get my hands on!  Is it wrong to love a sport so much?  I love this shit.  I watched one video about beating Rich Froning and in it there was a piece about how Khalipa has 'What is Rich doing' written on the wall in his garage.  Boom (mind blown) I have been repeating it in my head all day...'What is Sam, Julia, Lindsey, Rory doing?'

They are fucking winning at life right now!  I know that a year out is not a feasible goal to make it to the games, but I stand by my goal to make it to regionals.  I am considering turning my garage into a gym when I get home.  Trying to make a list of the items I will need and placing some of the money I have earned into savings for that reason.  In the same video Khalipa was talking about how Rich had come to visit and they had worked out like 3 times that day, just had dinner with their wives and then he heard his garage door open and when he went to go check it out, there was Rich doing front squats.  I know Rich is on the verge of being super human but he is committed.  I admire that trait.  Instead of doing things that are destructive or counter productive he works out, he does that and still makes time for other activities he enjoys like mountain biking.

I have goals, they have been eating me alive...so many things I want to do and complete.  I apologize if the next few sentences are run ons or verbal diarrhea, but I need them out of my head and on paperish.  I want to get my EMT and later paramedic, make it to regionals, rock climb, learn Italian, travel to Italy, see my family more, read more books, write down more thoughts, have intellectual conversations, visit my people, workout at Sam, Annie, and Mikko's gyms.  Hahah.  I feel like coming back from this deployment things are wide open and I might not have all the answers but I have some...I met some good dudes here that have taught me some invaluable lessons about living life, things that were internally in their infancy and after meeting these guys have grown with their help.  I want to live a life that is less stressful and definitely less dramatic (unless its my dramatic finish at NW Regionals 2014 where I take third place).

I feel my crossfit focus moving away from aesthetics and towards performance and it makes me happy and free. 

Keep eating that fatty...

I took my stomach circumference and it was almost 2" bigger than when I got to this place!! Whoa heart stopper and my sketchy fat caliper said whoa fatty keep eating that...needless to say I know my eating hasn't been the best since I've been here.  I struggled mentally for the last few months to diet or not to diet, basing my decision on the fact that I am here.  Pity would be the word.  I volunteered to come here and although I long to be home and I miss the comforts of being home, I made a choice to be here and deal with my situation.  I keep saying I'm going to do this challenge and that, but the fact is I need to find a lifestyle that works that I can adjust based on my body's responses.  In order to do this I have to be able to recognize what my body is saying. Central adiposity (more fat around the waist area)...according to some reading I have been doing this is associated with elevated stress levels.  How do I fix this?  I am living in a stress filled environment.  I have things outside of my control now that are causing a huge amount of stress for me, I am stressed about my lack of employment when I come back, I'm stressed about my body and the list goes on...

Two things I have taken away from this reading that I will start immediately are using breathing to calm myself down and getting enough good restful sleep.

I do this self test all the time in my room:

I call it my bagel

I am ready to leave it behind.  On my path of actually sticking to a program for 90 days, I am still on my LBEB Oly lifting program.  Already on week 4!  I have had some longish metcons on Saturdays and from the guidance of my forever coach I will be shortening those up to benefit what I am trying to accomplish.  Also, I have started adding ancillary work to help build strength into the MU!  I am also adding in some cardio to round out the next 90 days.  I have been reading Outlaws programming and I am eager to give it the next 90 days!  I really like his programming and also the way he writes...pretty entertaining.

In other news, I have a competition this Friday.  I am pretty excited to go to it, the first event is a clean and jerk ladder (jerk is optional), but I'll get to test all the work I have been doing on my clean and jerk!  On the Fourth to celebrate our independance I'll be running a 10k got to get that LSD in!

I've read 5 books since I've been here all interesting in their own way...my most recent was The Alchemist.  It was different but good.  I read it in one day.  Next on the list is Why Zebras don't get Ulcers.  Pretty excited to read that one and as always I am slowly plugging away at my nutrition cert!

I'll be taking pictures and posting them on 1 July or around there.  I have a buddy that said he eat healthy/clean to support me until I got but we are both taking pictures and are on the same workout plan.

Thats the news from here...stay classy

Determination

Determination...a new word for me.  I want to make it to regionals 2014, I am tired of sabotaging myself and being mediocre at the sport I love.  Time to make it happen.  Here's to phase 1 get an effing muscle up.

MU attempt #1

CTB Pull ups

Dips

MU attempt #2

Halfway through!! Frustration at a high.

Wow I haven't blogged here in a long time!  I have hit peaks and valleys.  I am finally on day shift and now that the weather is hot I feel lethargic by the time it is time to workout.  I have been reading and allowing myself time to relax and enjoy shows.  Food intake as always has been up and down.  I struggle between diet here in this place or allow myself the joy of eating what I want....I revert back to my sugar addiction with one single jolly rancher.  I have one week of eating as I wish closing on the day after my birthday, I will start the advocare 10 day cleanse + 3 days of the master cleanse.  The goal (w/ a plan) is to start adding food back in slowly, starting with veggies and depending on the soups add soup in the mix.  Maybe for a day or two and then add meat back.  On 1 July I will be starting the PN diet so this is priming the body for the 8-9 weeks to follow.  I will track my progress weekly if not daily on this page in relation to food intake/exercies/energy---overall health.

I have started the LBEB 12 week Olympic Lifting program this week and am forcing myself to stick to the 3x a week lifting + one metcon

6/3 Monday
Snatch
3x3 70% -70
3x3 75%- 75

Back Squat
4x5 75%- 165

PP BTN
3x5 70%- 70

Snatch Pulls
4x5 110%- 115

Pullups
3x6 - strict

6/5 Wednesday
Clean&Jerk
3x3 70%- 100
3x3 75%- 105

Snatch Balance
4x3 70%- 70

Front Squat
4x5 75%- 130

Clean Pulls
5x5 115%- 180

50 Situps

On another note, although I look no better and I actually have been eating shitty...lets check in on my goals I set in January...

CF goals for 2013
Deadlift 300# ---> Currently 265#-->BOOOM I got it!
Muscle up ---> Currently Jumping?--->Still jumping...
Clean 165# ------> Currently 155# (sketchy)---->still sketch at 155#
CF Total =600 --> Currently 535---> 615!
Link 10 butterfly pull-ups --> Currently 2--->6!
Snatch 120# -----> Currently 105#----> hit 110# it was weak and I don't want to count it so I say 105#
75 UnB DU -----> Currently 40----->haven't tested!

I thought I had set a Back Squat goal but I didn't, however my last 1RM was 205# and the other day I hit for 220#!!!!! Super excited about the gains!

Low point

I have hit a low point...

I literally cried on my way home from the gym.  I am so tired of being fat (in my opinion) I see people CrossFit and be not nearly as skilled or strong as I am and they look amazing.  It is so frustrating.  I want to be fit and deep down I want to look like Christmas Abbott...

What the fuck do I have to do to look like this?  A little LGN before I go home?  The problem is that I want instant shit and if I don't get it in a week or get frustrated I fucking binge like nobodies business.  I am trying this challenge that I am privy for 8 weeks and I am hoping for the best "by failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail" I have to figure out my macros with this unpredictable food here. BAHHHH...I just want to look good.

In other news...I am 5#s closer to my 300# deadlift goal.  I hit 270 for my 1RM the other day.  Pretty excited about that and that I hit 207.5# on my back squat on accident!

I have been working on my Oly lifts, I can't decide if I want to have my lifting shoes sent out here or if I should just get better with just standard shoes.  For now its just me and my nike frees. 

Sleep time and reading time is becoming more and more sparse as I am now managing the CF gym and teaching 3 classes.  In need of some mental restoration.

Weighing in at 161.6 in my uniform and boots measurements to come soon and new pictures.

One more week down...

Training changed back to Invictus this week.  I competed and felt like I needed more endurance (crossfitty) capacity.  The competition was awesome and fun and killed me. 

4/8
A.  6 sets of 3-position Snatch
55,65,70,75,80,80

B. OH press
5@ 50#
5@ 60#
5@ 70#
3@ 85# x3
10@ 55#

C. 2 sets
Dips @20X2 x10 (30s)
Strict CTB xmax w/red band 4,4

D. FT
500m Row
50 KBS 24K
30 CTB
500m Row
14:51-stoked to get all CTB w/o assistance

4/9
A. 3 NFT
TTB x10 UnB
DU x40
Roll to Candlestick

B.  EMOM 12min Clean x2
1-4 120#
5-8 125#
9-12 130#

C. 5 sets max
:20 C&J 95# 4,3,3,2,2
:10 OH BB Hold

D. 6 Sets BS
5@ 160#
3@ 170#
1@ 180#
10@ 130# x3

4/10
A. 3 NFT
Wall Runs x20
Bridge ups x5
v-ups x10

B. 10-15min heavy 1RM Split jerk
130# - strong

C. 8 sets
Bench x3 80# (45s)
Pendley Row x6 @21X0 (45s)

D. Max meters
30s row (60s) 144
60s row (2:00) 268
2:00 row (4:00) 500
4:00 row 916

4/12
A. 3 NFT
MU (attempts) x2
Strict HSPU (to 35# plate) x 10, 9, 8
L-sit max 15s

B. EMOM 12min C&J x1
1-2 85#
3-4 90#
5-6 100#
7-8 105#
9-10 110#
11-12 115#

C. 3 sets
clean pulls 150# (60s)
CTB x5

D. FS
3@135#
2@ 145#
1@ 155#
5@ 100#
5@ 110#
5@ 120#
5@ 125#
5@ 135#

4/13
A. 3NFT
Rope Climb x2
Dragon Flags x4

B. complete AMRAP
10 HSPU
15 BJ 20"
20 STO 105#
25 Pull ups
30 DU

4:00 (4:00) 8 STO
6:00 (4:00) 7 Pull ups
8:00--bad pain in hand had to stop

Eating is good still fat but working on it...in other news

I want what this dude has...his but muscles are climbing up his back!

The Training...

4/1

WU
5 rounds
10WB (14#)
20 Sit ups
Shoulder pass throughs

Strenght- Tongue Lashing
1. 1RM Press 100#
2. 6 Rounds
    3x Press @ 75#
    10m Walking Lunge
3. 5 Rounds
    5x Curtis P's @45#
    1x Rope Climb
4. 30/30 Jingle Jangle x5

4/2

WU
5 Rounds
10x DL @95#
5x 1 arm KB Clean and Press @ 26#

Pissed off Girlfriend
1. 10 Rounds
    1 min step up @ 20" @45#
    :30sec Iso hold at bottom of squat
    (:30/:60 rest)
2. 12min TGU @26#
3. 10 Rounds
    1min jingle jangle
    5x bj @ 20"
    :10 rest
16:53

4/3

Thrusters
2-2-2-2-2-2  65, 75, 85,95,105, 110#
Butterfly, MU, HS hold practice

Vow

I have a problem, I have an immense amount of nutrion and exercise information in my brain.  As a trainer I am able to program for clients and suggest healthy eating options.  They stick to it, feel strong and healthy...accomplished.  Why then is it so hard for me to follow these rules/suggestions myself?  Why is it that I feel the need to bounce from here to there and not stick to anything for even a week?  I want instant gratification, I want to look amazing now.  A huge problem I have in my core self is this desire to be normal.  I just want to be normal, in the sense of eating.  I want to be able to eat like everyone else and LGN right.  My biggest problem?  Sugar, and lately its not even sugar done well its just sugar anything.  Fucking starburst jelly beans...are you shitting me I actually went into our break room and brought the bag back.  I have hit an all new low when it comes to sugar intake since I have been here.  In the course of finding the next new eating plan that is going to take me to places I've never been before I found IF(intermitted fasting), Leangains, and CBL (carb back loading)...all leading to one thing awesomeness plus carbs (whhaatt?) yeah, let me jump on that bandwagon.  PROBLEM...I am an effing sugar addict and these diets all of the sudden made it okay to eat any shit I wanted to just at different times.  I wasn't doing them correctly I was just turning it into what I wanted which is only going to get me to 300#s faster.  Being a lady, I am slowly figuring out that I need to get off the crack, set down the donuts (unless its Voodoo)...and figure my shit out if I want to attempt to reach full genetic potential.

I watched some gentlemen workout at the gym today and I'm not sure what plan they were on but whatever it was it was working.  All of them had an amazing chest and set of abs...I couldn't stop staring, in fact I might sacrifce sleep to see them again.  Its not that I want to be with them (okay maybe I just want to touch them and make sure they are real...scientifically) I want to be them, I want to have that and on top of the look this dude was doing L-chin up in and outs WTF I want it!  After watching that display I did some heavy thrusters and actually linked 2 butterfly pull ups together and think I might have figured out my kip for the muscle up...it is still just out of reach though.  On another note I was able to hold a handstand with one arm which I was super stoked about.

I have started a 4 month training program called 'the Horsemen' it is designed for military ops dudes, but I'm all about it.  It is fun, they have the 4 months divided into for example strength is month 1 and you start on the 1st of the month.  They have a book of workouts, they tell you what type and you program from there.  It gives me a count down and they are pretty long, which is helping with my crappy attitude of late.  I was finally cleared for everything except long distance running by the PT so that is exciting.

The point of this blog is that something needs to change and now is the time.  I am making my vow to give up sugar and to give myself what I deserve, which is an actual effort to maintain a healthy eating plan for the next 8 weeks and adjust after the 8 weeks.  I've done some looking to find anything that might help me in my pursuit of 8 full good weeks of no sugar and sticking to IF paleo. 

I vow to quit sugar, sit down and savor every bite of my paleo meals in my 8 hour feeding window.  I vow to accept hunger and not treat it with the easiest unhealthy means.  I vow to acknowledge my triggers and soft spots and actively seek out remedies. 

What do I expect to get from this?  I expect to see gains in my preformance at the gym.  I expect to see changes in my mental state.  I expect to see changes in my body composition.

Short Term Goals:
Do all daily workouts to the best of my ability
Make healthy eating choices everyday
Everyday make an effor to not eat SUGAR
Read everyday for at least 30mins

Long Term Goals:
17% Body Fat
300# Deadlift
Muscle up
10 Linked Butterfly pullups
Strict HSPU

I want to see my abs, I want LGN...I WILL do this.

'Success isn't given.  Its earned'

3/21/13

More of the same? Yeah and no...

On Tuesday I did a gymnastics wod, which was a lot harder than I anticipated!

4 Rounds
10 DB Planche through to v outs
10 DB straight arm press outs

100 Superman Rocks

This left me sore for a few days!

Wednesday

Squat 5x5     95#
Press 5x5      45#
Deadlift 1x5  120#

5mins of Handstand practice

Thursday

CF open 13.3

150WB
90 DU
30 MU
I got 20 DU's

This was way worse than last years attempt where I got 69 DUs

I am most definitely just going to be satisfied with this one, in no way am I under the delusion that I'd actually make it to regionals so I'm good with it.  It was fun to be out with some people in the daylight anyway.

Don't think so much

Don't think so much, I think I often over think everything from diet to exercise.  Put more on my plate then I should and get bogged down.  When I get overwhelmed I don't give me all...give half ass effort, get half ass results.  My goal for this week is to not think so much, just make good decisions and be okay with them.

Yesterday in an attempt to adhere to the PT's request to stop all power movements I adjusted my workout...

A. Four Sets Strict Press x3-5 @21x2  65, 70, 75, 80 (4)

B.  3 Rounds FT
6 HSPU
100yd Farmer Carry 53# KB in each hand
9 Sit ups
6:55

My achilles was a bit tender after B. frustrating.  Had an email 'consultation' with a friend and he agreed no power movements and suggested it was time to start working on certain things.  In the process of looking up a movement he suggested (Pendely Row) I found a lifting program for strength and am going to do that...however it is only three days a week and I struggle with that being enough for me to do...so I've asked for advice from my buddy.

Today in accordance with that plan I started light and by 12 weeks I should be a beast.

A. Squats 5x5 @ 90#
B.  Bench Press 5x5 @ 60#
C.  Pendley Row 5x5 @ 65#

Focused on form and speed coming up.

I ordered a fat caliper so I can track my progress while I am here.  I still intend to stay on the IF diet.  I guess I am supposed to take pictures, measure my body fat, and weigh myself every 2 weeks for the next 12 weeks.

3/15/13

Today was a bittersweet day...

For my typical 2am workout time I did 13.2

5 Shoulder to Overhead 75#
10 Deadlifts 75#
15 Box Jumps 20"
10 min AMRAP

6rounds +6 box jumps
=201 reps

Felt alright about that was going to retest on Sunday...

9hours later I competed in the Spartan 300 put on by some Hungarian dudes as a celebration of their indepenance and the birth of their army.  Pretty sure I was the fastest lady there.

15 pull ups
50 Deadlifts 95#
50 push ups
50 box jumps 24"
50 wipers w/ 95# bar
50 KB clean and press
15 pull ups
12:58

This was horribly awesome. 

However, in the morning I went to the docotor for some pain in my achilles that I have been having for the last 3 weeks and I have been diagnosed with achilles tendonitis with a Hagglund's deformity.  I have to go to PT now and I am not allowed to do 'power' movements (e.g. jumping or oly lifting).  I am trying to be in good spirits, but I'm finding that to be hard at this point.

IF has been going well 4 days in and going strong.  Getting a massage tomorrow.

3/14/13

A.  15 minutes build to a heave 3 rep deadlift 205#

B.  3 Rounds
400m Run
30 KBS (16k)
15 Hand Release Push ups
14:12

The deadlift was heavy but felt good.  The form was all there so I left it at that, this wasn't an attemp for a 3RM. 

The 3 rounds I went UnB the entire way it felt rough, but is was so rewarding to do something I didn't think I could do!  Not sure how the time pans out I will see when I post it to the Invictus site.

Started doing IF today...strange so far...not that hard to wait to eat, however my post workout meal I had with a recovery shake it I was so full I thought I might burst.

3/13/13

A.  Three Sets
OHS x8-10 @20X1 45#, 65#, 75#
(2:00)
Wt. Pull ups x3-5 @21X0 No weight just strict
(2:00)

B.  Four Rounds
15 Pull ups
30 WB (12#)--hard rubber ball not a WB
60 DU
23:02

Oh my this was a rough one.  I went light on the OHS because my wrists were killing me.  I guess its been a while since I've been in that position and I don't have wraps or tape here...perhaps I should order some straps.  Pull ups are weak at this point so no weight in order to stay true to the tempo.

The metcon was rediculous!  I was so excited on my first round I did all 15 pull ups UnB, WB felt good but my DU were a stopping point.  My endurance and skill are not up to par yet but getting better!

Bam! I got the keys to the gym?!

Woo!  What a strange couple of weeks it has been.  I have yet to get in a rythm but it all seems to be settling down now.  I was asked to start coaching classes here in Afghan.  Without hesitation yes, Yes, YES!  I know have a key to the gym equipment and I am stoked to get back to coaching.  The guy that manages the gym is out in a month though and so I am not sure who will take his place. 

So I found out that they have a crossfit class during my shift (2000-0500) and since it is actually slow(ish) on my shift I am allowed to go workout.  Today was my first day attempting the class (0130) and it was good I can do my own training and not have to follow the main site!  So I was totally unprepared for that and had to make something up on the fly.  On Saturday I also did 13.1, I didn't do great but I am in it for fun this year.  I hadn't intended to sign up until a buddy asked me to...or more told me to sign up. 

Now that I can make my own class schedule and workout during work, I can finally figure out my sleep schedule.  That  is super exciting, definitely looking forward to having an actual routine to help pass the days.

I have been eating really well with the exception of my apple and peanut butter thing I have going on, it stops today...it was getting out of hand.  I am also allowing myself some rice here and there.  I have only been eating two meals a day and snacking mad on my shift so now that I am teaching at an optimal time I can actually eat regular meals.

13.1 (Saturday)
40 Burpees
30 Snatch 45#
30 Burpees
30 Snatch 75#
20 Burpees
30 Snatch 100#
10 Burpees
AMRAP
Snatch 120#
133 Reps--lungs felt as if they were bleeding.

3/12 Tuesday (0130 AM)
5 C&J 95#
25 DU
x6
12 Hip X
x3

Has it only been 1 week?

I am here in Afghaniland.  I cleaned up my act upon landing at my base.  I have been eating meats, veggies, and fruit...until today when I found some nuts stashed away and I ate them like a street kid that hasn't seen food for weeks.  I also was not sure who owned them.  Anyway, I am getting sick and trying to fight that currently but I have been getting my workout on the last few days.  I didn't eat any meat on Sunday ( I feel like the meat is super salty here and I want 1 day a week to let my body have a break).  Working out has been an eye opener here...I am in a seriously sucky state.  My achillies has been bothering me for a while now and today it was swollen so I broke and took some IB pro.  The main gym has carpet floors and you have to change shoes upon entering the gym, which is funny because its just as dusty inside as out...oh and the gym is a huge tent.

3/2
3 AM-- BS 1 RM (for the day) 185#
             4x6 @ 130#
             Press 1 RM (for day) 95#
             4x5 @ 65#
             ME Strict Pull ups (3x3)

4 PM-- Went to the CF gym, but no one was there so I did my own thing
7 Pull ups
7 Squats
7 Tire Flips
7 Burpees
7 Hip X
-7 Rounds

I was so wrecked on both of these workouts...I fatigue so easily it seems.  Sore for daysss...recovery seems impossible.

3/3
400m repeats on treadmill for 30min

Rough initially, but felt better by the end.

3/4
FS 5x5 @ 125#
Deadlift 3 at 185#, 2 at 185#, 3 at 175#
Box Jumps (24")
3x5

I was struggling on every single lift today and it was super busy in the gym.  I constantly had people trying to steal my bar so I think from now on I will lift right after work.

That is were I am at currently trying to get a rythm in my life.  I miss my family and friends already I can only imagine what it will be like for the next six months.  I am going to give CF another go tomorrow see if they actually have class.  My schedule was changed so I work later...not sure how I feel about that.

Undigging the hole

I haven't been working out or putting much thought into what I have been putting in my mouth for the last 2 months and I have started to undig the hole I've I've dug for myself.  I am mid journey to Afghanistan and I as able to squeeze in a workout that about broke my will.  I am still eating whatever I get based on movement and availability of food.  As soon as I am in country and able to make my own decisions about food I am going to cut out carbs and sugars...basically as paleo as I can get for 1 month, 2, the entire 6?  I better jet I need to pick up my weapon.  Crazy to think I'll be giving up normal luxuries of human life in a few hours.

Workout 2.25.13
15 min intervals on the treadmill

12, 9, 6, 3
DB Snatch /ea
Burpees

Glute Bridges
12 Both legs
10/ea Single leg

30 UnB KBS (35lb DB)

Weight post workout 154 (holy shit)

1/19/13

Good eating day!  I had a bit of rice that I believe helped me with my workout later in the day.  I did indulge last night with an ice cream sandwich and I don't feel guilty :) other than that I ate well yesterday.  I did get to the gym which was super exciting.  We also set up an area in the garage to be our workout space which is great as well considering my time constraints!  I am starting the asylum tomorrow in addition to trying to squeeze in some cf workouts!  I am sore as shit today and I love it.  Between deadlifting Friday and the workout today I'm jacked up.

Workout:

EOM 4 hspu (kipping)
EOM 6 KBS (24k)
20 min
 +
21-15-9
DU (Stamina rope)
pull ups
butterfly sit ups

(Warmed up with jump rope skill for a good 5 min working on crossovers with a heavier speed rope)

Field Week!

Whoa, what a week...training and eating went to shit this week.  I was able to get a 3 mile run in Tuesday, but after that we had to pack our bags and hit the road practicing convoy ops it was brutal...eating was good until the convoy on Wednesday.  I had to stay the night Tues, and Wed...so those two nights I probably got a total of 8 hrs of sleep.  Wednesday I had to eat MREs...not paleo and not delicious, but they sustain life so I ate.  All week we were in 'battle rattle' helmets, body armor, loaded weapons...dealing with IEDs and other attacks.  Stayed up all night to pull security.

So eating not optimal, but back on the wagon today.

Friday I got in a workout

CG Bench 6,3,1,6,3,1 100#, 115#, 125#, 100#, 115#, 125#

21-15-9
Single unders
155# Deadlift
Ring Push ups

7:19

Good workout super sore today!

On a side note I read a great blog today that I want to share if there are any readers out there this is super thinking point...

http://www.xplorecrossfit.com/2013/01/tell-me-more-that-i-can-ignore/#

We are given so much advice and good information...Do something...if something isn't working is it because you don't have adequate information or because you have the info and are half assing it?  We all have an understanding of what it will take to get us where we want to be it comes down to information overload and putting that information into action.  I know I have a huge problem with bogging myself down with information and then staying stagnate.  I have wanted a six pack for as long as I can remember and here I am...I know what it is going to take and I keep half heartedly committing. I am excited to see what I can do when I quit overloading myself and start doing what I know will work 100% commitment.

Weekend

Food intake went well overall this weekend.  We made these awesome little ham egg cup things that were great for breakfast!  We actually stuck to our eating plan this week and ate all of our food instead of eating out I was so proud.  Saturday we went to a movie zero dark thirty, pretty intense...good movie.  We had popcorn and I had some 7-up because my stomach was upset.  Obviously in the future soda water would have been a better option.  No working out this weekend.  Just recovering from last week.  Did a lot of studying at coffee shops this weekend felt good about that.  This weeks should present a lot of challenges, as I have to stay over night at the base Monday through Thursday.  I've made a roast with elk and am bringing some other things along to help ease and food issues....fingers crossed.

1/11/13

Finally Friday!!  A day without body armor!  Started my morning off with Insanity followed by a day of good eating and a date where I was choosing to eat something non paleo.

Shake
Insanity
1 hard boiled egg, banana, coffee, torrent
Vietnamese salad (pork, shrimp, lettuce, basil, carrots, jicama, cucumbers)
carrots w/ hummus
Taco meat, blue and blackberries
Date night dinner Lamb and Pistachio Ragu (contained gnocchi) salad w/ vinaigrette, tequila and soda water with lime---side note totally not worth it

Aside from my I'm not sure what to call it...not a cheat meal...I detest that word... all of my meals are conscious decisions.  It has been 10 days of good clean eating.

Happy Weekend!

1/8-1/10

Haven't been able to update the blog daily like intended....so a quick wrap up of the last three days eating wise...totally paleo with the exception of finishing up the hummus that is currently at the house and working well for snacks.  Most mornings I've been having a shake on my way to work almond milk and protein powder, working out and then having my eggs.  Post workout the last two days I've tried this drink that my co-workers have called Torrent (sp)?  I'm not drinking the recommended dose, but not noticing anything significant recovery wise.  Not sure if that is in part because I am following workouts up with full days on the range carrying a minimum of 35# (body armor) and running around with my weapons?  

Its been an exhausting week and I am definitely looking forward to the weekend.  I am starting to feel like I have shin splints...I've never had them before so this is only a guess and it sucks.  I am also pretty bummed that I haven't made it to any cf classes yet but I'm hoping next week on Friday, but that is the only day unfortunately that I would be able to attend class.

Workouts

1/8 A.M. Run 1 lap

               10 push ups

               Run 1 lap

               10 sit ups

              continues in this format sit ups and push ups increasing to 15, 20, and 25 reps

    

P. M. close grip bench press 3 RM (no spotter so I didn't go big) 100#

         5 TnG Snatch 65#

        25 DU

        5 CTB

        5 hand release clapping push ups

        5 TnG Clean and Jerk 65#

       (2:30)

        x3

1/9  100 SU (w/ .75# rope)

        25 Burpees

        10 SDHP (20K)

        10 KBS (20k)

        50 Alt. high knees (w/ 2.9oz rope)

        20 Burpees

        10 SDHP (20K)

        10 KBS (20k)

       100 SU (w/ .75# rope)

        15 Burpees

        10 SDHP (20K)

        10 KBS (20k)

        50 Alt. high knees (w/ 2.9oz rope)

        10 Burpees

        10 SDHP (20K)

        10 KBS (20k)

       100 SU (w/ .75# rope)

*Range day...running, push ups, and squats in body armor

1/10  This morning I did insanity (the cardio one) at my unit with my boss.  Another range day of running with weapons in body armor...body feeling super fatigued.

Today's eating was good as well

Breakfast:  Shake (alm milk and protein)

Workout

Post workout:  Torrent shake

Breakfast 2:  2 eggs in coconut oil, 2 clementines, 1 small low sodium v-8, 6 oz coffee

Lunch:  chicken and broccoli, raspberries and blueberries, 3 oz coffee

Snack:  celery and hummus, handful nuts and dried fruit

Lunch 2:  elk stir fry with peppers and onions

Dinner:  chicken and salad with tomatoes and a few olives.

So happy tomorrow is Friday!

1/7/13

Eating was good today with the exception of eating some beans and lentils I was clean. 

Breakfast:  2 eggs in coconut oil, 2 clementines, low sodium v-8, and 4oz of coffee

Mid Morning:  Raw bell pepper with taco meat (turkey burger and spices) + black beans, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries w/ 1 T almond butter (raw and unsalted)

Lunch:  Lentil soup with Elk meat

Afternoon:  1 large celery stalk w/ almond butter and blueberries

Squadron PT:  1 lap (around compound)
                       10 pushups
                       1 lap
                       10 situps
                       This repeated the numbers changing to 15 and then 20 for the situps and pushups

Dinner:  Mixed greens salad with taco meat (no black beans), tomatoes, avocado, and vinaigrette

Late snack:  Apple and alm butter

Happy with my eating, no super stoked about missing class at the cf gym, beat myself up for a while last night about it...it is going to be a battle convincing myself when I am tired to go up the cf gym for class and then go home instead of just going home...need to work on that part.

Still struggling with the feeling fat belly hanging over pants part but I am working on that piece.  More working out less thinking.

Renewed?

Taranis is over by almost 2 months and I haven't been able to commit to a decent eating plan nor have I been committed to a workout plan either....I'm in a self loathing phase currently.  However, a goal for the year is to improve my body image and part of achieving that goal is to push my body to the potential I believe is there.

I had a good chat with my coach the other night and it didn't revolve around working out or eating.  I read his blog and watch all of his videos and it never gets old.  I love watching the videos, his movements seem so effortless.  I want to look like I'm not dying while working out or that my for is actually pretty and correct.  #Motivation

I look around and I see ladies doing crossfit and it is constantly a blow to my ego, they look great and my belly hangs over my pants?!  WTF.  I remember when I started crossfit and changes were constantly being made I was loosing that winter weight I'd been carrying for years...I was committed and I was following paleo...then I had a cupcake...it was a slippery slope.  So here I am fatter than when I started crossfit!  WHat?  Yeah, I should join FA (Foodies Anonymous) At moments I feel like its a loosing battle and others I am so optimistic.  So for the past week I've cleaned up the diet and was doing some detox work and tomorrow I will be going paleo again.

I am about 2 months out from deployment and I am just trying to do the best I can before I step.  I joined a cf gym up by the base and I intend to follow their programming 3 days a week, which frustrates me because I want more however, I have class 2 nights a week down south so I will more than likely do endurance type work on those days.  I bought a set of ropes from crossrope that are awesome and I am definitely trying to add those workouts into my regime.

I was way more accountable when I had a coach and was blogging my workouts with intent.  So here I am, being accountable to anyone that reads this blog...I am also going to relay my paleo compliance as well.

I want a six pack and a nice ass...

CF goals for 2013
Deadlift 300# ---> Currently 265#
1st Muscle up ---> Currently Jumping?
Clean 165# ------> Currently 155# (sketchy)
CF Total =600 --> Currently 535
Link 10 butterfly pull-ups --> Currently 2
Snatch 120# -----> Currently 105#
75 UnB DU -----> Currently 40