Vow

I have a problem, I have an immense amount of nutrion and exercise information in my brain.  As a trainer I am able to program for clients and suggest healthy eating options.  They stick to it, feel strong and healthy...accomplished.  Why then is it so hard for me to follow these rules/suggestions myself?  Why is it that I feel the need to bounce from here to there and not stick to anything for even a week?  I want instant gratification, I want to look amazing now.  A huge problem I have in my core self is this desire to be normal.  I just want to be normal, in the sense of eating.  I want to be able to eat like everyone else and LGN right.  My biggest problem?  Sugar, and lately its not even sugar done well its just sugar anything.  Fucking starburst jelly beans...are you shitting me I actually went into our break room and brought the bag back.  I have hit an all new low when it comes to sugar intake since I have been here.  In the course of finding the next new eating plan that is going to take me to places I've never been before I found IF(intermitted fasting), Leangains, and CBL (carb back loading)...all leading to one thing awesomeness plus carbs (whhaatt?) yeah, let me jump on that bandwagon.  PROBLEM...I am an effing sugar addict and these diets all of the sudden made it okay to eat any shit I wanted to just at different times.  I wasn't doing them correctly I was just turning it into what I wanted which is only going to get me to 300#s faster.  Being a lady, I am slowly figuring out that I need to get off the crack, set down the donuts (unless its Voodoo)...and figure my shit out if I want to attempt to reach full genetic potential.

I watched some gentlemen workout at the gym today and I'm not sure what plan they were on but whatever it was it was working.  All of them had an amazing chest and set of abs...I couldn't stop staring, in fact I might sacrifce sleep to see them again.  Its not that I want to be with them (okay maybe I just want to touch them and make sure they are real...scientifically) I want to be them, I want to have that and on top of the look this dude was doing L-chin up in and outs WTF I want it!  After watching that display I did some heavy thrusters and actually linked 2 butterfly pull ups together and think I might have figured out my kip for the muscle up...it is still just out of reach though.  On another note I was able to hold a handstand with one arm which I was super stoked about.

I have started a 4 month training program called 'the Horsemen' it is designed for military ops dudes, but I'm all about it.  It is fun, they have the 4 months divided into for example strength is month 1 and you start on the 1st of the month.  They have a book of workouts, they tell you what type and you program from there.  It gives me a count down and they are pretty long, which is helping with my crappy attitude of late.  I was finally cleared for everything except long distance running by the PT so that is exciting.

The point of this blog is that something needs to change and now is the time.  I am making my vow to give up sugar and to give myself what I deserve, which is an actual effort to maintain a healthy eating plan for the next 8 weeks and adjust after the 8 weeks.  I've done some looking to find anything that might help me in my pursuit of 8 full good weeks of no sugar and sticking to IF paleo. 

I vow to quit sugar, sit down and savor every bite of my paleo meals in my 8 hour feeding window.  I vow to accept hunger and not treat it with the easiest unhealthy means.  I vow to acknowledge my triggers and soft spots and actively seek out remedies. 

What do I expect to get from this?  I expect to see gains in my preformance at the gym.  I expect to see changes in my mental state.  I expect to see changes in my body composition.

Short Term Goals:
Do all daily workouts to the best of my ability
Make healthy eating choices everyday
Everyday make an effor to not eat SUGAR
Read everyday for at least 30mins

Long Term Goals:
17% Body Fat
300# Deadlift
Muscle up
10 Linked Butterfly pullups
Strict HSPU

I want to see my abs, I want LGN...I WILL do this.

'Success isn't given.  Its earned'