10/30

AC surprisingly not as bad as I thought!  I am still super sore from Monday...welcome back to real training JMoney (yes I call myself JMoney).  I've been super tired lately...I feel like I get no time at home to decompress and that trend continues as I will be running all weekend for my military event to make sure I am a stable human being.  Kim is being super supportive and that is amazing.  I went to the Sounders game last night and it was awesome.  

Training:

10 min Z1 AC

5 min AC for cals 77

10 min Z1 AC

OT2

5 pull ups

10 push ups

15 Air squats

x7

Round average was 38.4s

After getting over my soreness I felt really good not overly fatigued.  I attempted my butterfly pull ups in one round and effed up so I stuck to standard kip.  Push ups didn't really break down until maybe round 8-9 I was actually shocked.

10 min Z1 AC

Food Intake:

0600  2 eggs cooked in rib eye fat (yum), cherry tomatoes, banana, 2 strips of bacon

0700  2 shot Americano

0800 24 Alms

0900 strawberries

1230 3-4oz chicken, 1 potato, 1 bell pepper

430 Training

645 5oz chicken, 1c wild rice, veggies (zucchini, carrots, kale)

0830 1/4 lb cinnamon glazed alms -maybe not the best choice here but better than anything else I could get at the game.

Today is a scheduled rest day but I have to workout as I have that military event this weekend so I'll be hitting the gym today and Friday to get it all in...same thing next week...maybe after that things will calm down.

Still super happy with life.

10/29

Taught a class today at Xplore...pretty excited about that, it was small but went well.

Training:
4 min max false grip strict pull ups (4) this was/has been a big weakness of mine.  At least I can climb in to the grip now but my upper body gets extremely fatigued right away.

7 PC
7 FS
7 PP
15 AC cals
10 Burpees
x6 (9:00)

The goal was to find a weight where you could keep your split times in between 2:00- 2:30.  I did all sets at 35k [2:14, 2:02, 2:05, 2:06, 2:06, 1:59] this was horrible I felt like my burpees were in slow motion.  I'm sure had they been on video they would have look slow motion.

Food Intake:
600 2 eggs cooked in ghee, 2 strips of bacon broiled in oven, handful of cherry tomatoes, 1 banana, 12oz water
700 Coconut milk latte
900 strawberries
1100 Taught Class
1215 salad w/ turkey deli meat, 1/2 hard boiled egg, tomatoes, 1/2 avocado (no dressing) 2 slices California roll
1745 Protein shake
1945 3oz glass red wine
2000 almonds ~10
2020 Rib eye, 1c rice, salad w/ tomatoes + red wine vinaigrette, 2 small pickles

Today should be interesting with all the AC work and I forgot my protein so....not looking forward to this.

I'm Home

I'm posting from work today as I do not have internet at home yet, but soon which will make this much easier.  This weekend I moved to West Seattle and I feel at home.  I wake up everyday with a smile.  It is amazing to look forward to work, home, the city, and friends.  I am truly happy.  I was supposed to test for SFD on Sunday, it would appear fate had a different plan.  Anything that could possibly get in the way of me taking the test happened and I eventually had to be okay with the fact that I wasn't going to make it.  For the first time in my life I am going to go with things as they are and not have a plan B and I think that is adding to the calm joy I am feeling now.

Anyway, I have started to dial in the eating and training on the competitor program.

Food Choices for 10/28:

600:  2 eggs cooked in ghee, cherry tomatoes, banana, glass of water (12oz)
700:  Unsweetened coconut milk latte
930:  3/4c strawberries, 24 almonds
1300:  California Roll (maybe 6 slices)
1630: Training
1745: Protein shake
1900:  Moroccan stew w/ cauliflower rice + 1 cider
2100: 3ish mango slices
+ 80ish oz water

Training:
A1 Neutral Grip DB bench @3010 x6-8 x4 (1:00) 35#
A2. Scap pull up + pull up x4-6 x4 (1:00)
B1. Ring Dip @30X1 x3-5 x3 (1:00) -blue (small)
B2. Bent over BB row @2021 x4-6 x3 (1:00) (30K)
+
10 PC 40k
10 Sup CTB
x3

5:38

Scap pull up + pull up I did without a band, they were effing rough.  Dips were rough, I was concentrating on getting deep in the bottom.  Finisher was not as bad as I thought it'd be...because I suck at CTB I had to break it up into sets of 2 and 3.  Overall I felt good.  Looking forward to two workouts on Tuesday....

Ted...the way you talk

Today I revisited a Ted talk with the intent to listen and allow myself to process the information instead of just looking for entertainment and moving on with my day.  I listened to Vulnerability and it was truly insightful.  She started off with lean into the discomfort and I definitely shy away from that because well its uncomfortable.  I'm not sure what I want to say about this video or if I've truly digested the lessoned learned.  She said we can't be selective numb-ers (my word).  There is no numbing painful feelings without numbing the good feelings too.  I think I have been doing this for a while now.  Afghanistan is a great example...I never let myself truly feel in that environment.  There was no great fear, pain, or joy.  I met some amazing people and let 1 in, having more meaningful conversations than is that Paleo bro?  I was happy to be home, but I didn't feel what I thought I would...I thought I'd cry when I finally saw my fam but honestly I had to search deep inside like where are these feelings?!  It honestly scares me to admit it.

I think with Kim I've been numbing a lot.  I numb the good and the bad...the fact is that I never wanted to be in Olympia.  I blame her for my resentment and unhappiness that last few years (ish) but truly I should have been honest and told her that I had no desire to be there.  I long so badly to have a life partner.  I WANT to get married and have that life but more often than not I think I'll just be an old spinster.  Am I just better off alone?

Brene also talks about believing you are worthy and I think that is a major block right now in my CF training and nutrition.  I am strong and have talent, but I don't really think I'll make it anywhere or be any good.  I think my safe spot is to be mediocre...need to fix that aspect of my mental game.

Things to work on:
-Let myself be seen (who I am)
-Love with a whole heart even though there is no guarantee
-Practice gratitude and joy- be alive
-Believe I am enough

Vulnerability

Critical Juncture

Critical Juncture

I have decided to change this blog a tad to be a more personal blog versus just a training blog.  Of course my primary focus will still be my pursuit of  elite fitness, but I will be writing about life, work, books, and more.

Normally I just read books, I don't try to think deeper or highlight parts and think about them later.  I've never really had a deep intellectual conversation about a book I've read and honestly I fear my brain doesn't work that way but I want to actually get more out of what I am reading.  The goal initially with reading was to improve my reading because I am a slow reader and comprehension wasn't awesome.  I feel like I improved my skills and now I want to look for and pull important pieces out of the books I read.  I want to be able to have a meaningful conversation about the books I'm reading.

I told Kim that I am moving to Seattle, it was a rough week.  We have decided to try long distance at first lets see each other 1x a month was discussed.  Okay I can handle trying that and now it has evolved and turned into we are still full fledged relationship and lets see each other more than 1x a month, well I'm not sure I can be on board with that situation.  There are a lot of emotions and thoughts there that I haven't even began to touch.  I am excited to move to Seattle and be on my own and able to think clearly without other things weighing heavy on me.  I've looked at two places so far and I am really excited for the apartment I am going to look at today.  Fingers crossed it is the one!

I am on day 8 of my cleanse/ 24 day challenge and I feel good.  I am doing really well on the plan.  I've just been working out at home, looking forward to starting up crossfit when I start work next week.  Jordan started posting on a new fb community programming for competitive athletes.  I am hoping that he has a time set aside for 'competitors' to do this programming during the day.  I spoke with Donk and she said optimal workout time would be mid day so if it isn't possible for me to get in and do the competitor training, I think I will be doing the 11am class, work permitting.  

Donk and I were also talking about nutrition.  It seems so simple, cut and dry to her.  Everything seems so convoluted in my head.  Like I know so many piece parts and not enough whole facts about nutrition.  Jordan and I were talking while I was in Afghanistan and he made mention that to this point I just haven't found the right combination of nutrition and programming.  Mind blown...I agree, either I am messing with my nutrition and sticking to a food or failing on food and programming or doing good on food and fucking with my programming.  I am actually looking forward to not having to question my programming.  Whatever Jordan says/ recommends thats it I'm in no questions.  Food wise, I have 16ish more days left of the challenge and then Donk and I decide to experiment with her coaching me a bit.  She seems to have figured it out for herself and this will also give her an opportunity to think critically as a coach (which was something she had said she wishes she could do more of) and for me I can gain some understanding of food and timing that is effective for training purposes but also healthy for my body now and long term.  She keeps joking about the 6 pack challenge that we used to have with Pete but honestly I am so so far from that it is depressing.  I don't think I have ever been close haha...it would be nice though a dream at this point not a goal because I have confidence issues with actually attaining it.  

And in true cliche crossfit fashion I am still searching for the elusive Muscle Up.

For now I am reading the Pat Tillman story and when I finish that I will be reading The Fault in Our Starts.  Looking forward to reading that one.

Where's the LOVE

It has been over 2 months since I have written a blog about crossfit.  I must admit for a while I lost the love.  Today I started my 24 day Advocare challenge.  Today I am pretty excited and full of hope for some changes coming very soon!

First, I got a job in Seattle which will give me the opportunity to be in the city I love again.  I am excited for the opportunities this job offers and shortly I plan to move back up to Seattle.  That part is presenting some stress currently.  I am not looking forward to telling Kim but at the same time I want to live in Seattle so badly.  When I go home in a few days I will be dealing with that and starting the new job on the 21st. 

I get to be back at XCF, the only gym I've truly wanted to be a member of and my loyalty definitely has stayed there.  I lost the love but am definitely getting it back.  I texted the coach today and asked if he was going to train for the games this year and he said yes.  That makes my heart and mind want to burst.  I finally feel like I am in the right space.  I am coming home to XCF.  I anticipate that I'll be single in the near future as a move to Seattle in not conducive to my current relationship.  Selfishly, this frees my up to pursue my goal of making it to Regionals.  My loyalty and trust has been with XCF even when I was gone and I am so happy to finally be back.

More to blog about later.  I just had to get this off my chest and share this great video.  BEAUTY IN MOVEMENT!!