The Real Week 1

So much volume.  At times daunting the amount of time spent at the gym getting it in but I am loving it so far.  It is fun to connect and rely on these ladies to push me.  I am trying to dial in nutrition and pay attention to how I feel during the day and during and after workouts.  I am going to add gatorade into my workouts as I feel a bit lacking with 2+ hr sessions.  For some reason I get bubble guts really bad after workouts, not sure which component is doing this.  I have added sugars dextrose and carb complex to my post wo shake along with 5g of creatine.  Still taking elite fuel pre wo not sure if I am really getting anything out of it so I might not spring for another bottle.  Considering BCAAs to go in my gatorade.


Monday 8/24

50 double unders unB (45)

then

25 otm x5

10 ring rows
10 push ups
10 Jumping muscle ups, hold bottom of the dip 3 seconds, lower slowly and hold false grip as you come out

x4

30 strict HSPU - 15k plate and 2 mats

2 tough PC - 65k
2 strict pull ups
OTM x10

Back squat 5x5 - sets across @85k

Grace 43k

600m Run

40 WB 20#

100 DU w/ Zeus Rope

19:54

Tuesday 8/25

10 WB OT :30 x8 8th - shitty
(1:00)
Max unB -19

Wall Walk max hold
db bent over reverse fly -12#
db lateral raise - 8#
x4

2 Snatch 65% - 35k
2 MU (4CTR + 4 Dips)
OTM x10 - 2 rounds behind 14min

20 min EMOM
E: 9 Cal AC
O: 10 PP @ 30k

Wednesday 8/26
REST

Thursday 8/27
AC 15min Z1
:15s 100%
:45 Z1
X3

10 Archer Pushups
10 Ring Rows
x4

C&J 1 RM 10 min - 74k

2 C&J @80% OTM x10 60k

10 hspu
20 WB 14#
x3 - terrible shoulders smoked

Snatch 3,3,3 - 48k
Split Jerk 2,2,2 -55,60,65
FS 7,7,7 - 65,68,70

3:00
50 WB
Max cals AC -9 cal


Friday 8/28

Mobility

10 Burpees OTM x10

10 Ring Dip - Felt awesome
10 Ring Row
x4

15 MU - got on top of the rings 1x but couldn't dip out.  I think it is coming back!  Shoulder is pretty achy going to have to figure out what to do about that.

PS 45k
CTB - figured them out halfway through the 15s
14:49

Row 500m
1 RC
Run 400m
1 RC
x5
29:54~

Saturday 8/29
REST

Sunday 8/30

1500m Row Z1 7:38

BS 5x3 - maybe I read this wrong I thought is was 5 sets of 3 but the girls said 3 sets of 5 so that is what we did

85,87,89!

400m Run
20 KBS 16k
20 Pushups
x5 18:03

10 tgu 12k
10 sots press - 15k, 10x3
x4

15 ttb 13,12,10 - unB (so exciting)
15 sHSPU - 2 mats 15k plate
x3

Shoulder just now getting achy as I type.  Time to do mobility.  Looking forward to next week now that I know what to expect.  I already feel like I am getting better.  I'm sure there will be a few ups and downs next week.

Need more sleep.

Week 1 - Effort

This week I just put effort forth to reach my goals.  I hit most of them, I was only able to go to the gym 4 times, but I was super happy with my extra sleep and eating better.  I worked on some weaknesses as well this week which showed marked improvement.  Last night we had a female athlete meeting and I committed myself to the dream of regionals.  I've lived in this place of mediocrity for so long because it is safe and now I am scared.  Scared that the potential others see in me is not real and that I will let down this amazing group of ladies.  I'd rather fail then never know so here it goes.

8/10 - Wheeler

Snatch 2,2,2,2 [35,40 - stopped after two because of thumb, I have to wear the spongy tape]

OHS 3,3,3 [45,50,55] Felt really strong

BS 5x5 [80] According to Wheeler they looked good, they were fast and clean feeling need to get over my hatred for BS.

3 RFT
BSS x10/ea [40#]
Lateral Walk x3 [green]
Burpee Broad jumps x20 mats
~26min

4RFT
20DU unB
10 pull ups unB [last round broke at 7]
5 HSPU [need work still love them]
5:47

8/11 - Shan
AC 5min
:10 Sprint
:50 Easy
x5

10 mat HS walk
-------
20 GHSU
10 Strict Pull ups [5 unassisted, 5 red]
x4
-------
10 mat HS walk [Shan destroyed me on this one]

3 Dips [unassisted] OTM x5

Had to go back to work :( This was one of the funnest training days I've had in a long time.  I love the energy Shan and I have together it was fun but there is a shit ton of pushing and shit talking.

8/12
Easier Warmup 500m Row and 3 min AC

50 WB [14#]
40 Cal Row
30 Burpees
20 Cal AC
10 Deads [80]

Short, wanted to do more but time did not allow.

8/14 - Peter
KCCC week #2

7 Cleans [45]
40 DU
MRI 7 min
4 R 5 Clean

+
500m Row
10 P.C&J [35]
500m Row
10 P.S [35]
x3
23:10

+
3RNFT
5 Butterfly pullups - broke on set 3
5 mat HS walk - felt really good

+
1x10 GHR - both calves seized on rep 1 of set 2 so I shut it down

Really good gym day.

I think the big take aways for week 2 are going to be sleep and time management.  I need to start building a routine to ensure I have enough time in the gym to complete the programmed workouts.  Also, I will need this to remain fun in the face of failure I need to remember why I have chosen to do this.

Just take a step forward

Wow life has been insane over the last 4 months.  I haven't thought past today for 4 months it is polar opposite of my normal person.  As my life starts to take shape, I will start to pick up the pieces from the rubble that surrounds me that I want to take with me on my new journey.  My first piece is the people in my life as I have gone through this thing the good ones have shown themselves in so many ways that I am overwhelmed with gratitude and appreciation.  Number 2 was living in Seattle and it has been a real treat trying to get back but I finally have a place that I am excited about in a great area for me.  Piece 3 is my relationship with God, I always hesitate to say that because there is such a negative stigma out there and a lot of it is my experiences and feelings.  I found an incredible church and I try to go every Sunday.  I am loving it and finding it super emotional.  I actually look forward to it throughout the week.  The next piece in my puzzle is CrossFit or my pursuit of fitness.  I can honestly say I've given mediocre effort for the last 4 years with spurts of actual effort.  I love that others are training for Regionals it makes me want to be around them but in a coaching capacity.  I want to expand my knowledge so I can help them.  Without question when Jordan starts training it lights a damn fire under my ass.  I was explaining to Shan the other day how much I love watching Jordan workout, I told her about subscribing to his blog and watching all his workout videos on YouTube when I was away from the gym.  I actually sound crazy hahaha.  He is just the one that motivates me.  He makes me want to be better.  Don't get me wrong I have no illusion of getting to the games or even regionals but I have talked about being Elite-ish and looking like it for YEARS and I actually want to be true to myself and the clients at the gym that look at me and think I'm a "badass" (which I don't understand people gun for me?) with all that has transpired this year I feel like there is no time like the present to commit myself.  I'm giving myself until Monday to figure out my schedule and food prep so that on Monday its time to commit.  This will mostly likely turn into a weekly blog instead of daily so that I actually commit to writing in it.

To myself I commit to the following for 45 days starting Monday 8/10 ending on 9/24 - this presents a challenge as I will be in San Francisco from 9/13 to 9/25 but I will make it work.

• No extra sugar
• No Wheat
• No more than 1 Drink a week
• Eat Macros
• Workout 6x a week
• 3x a week work on weaknesses
• Yoga 1x a week
• Sleep 7+ hours a night
• Log Workouts 
• Log Sleep
• Log Food

Now I need to tell others to keep myself accountable.

Also, mainly this is because I love Brooke Ence and she is coming....

Why am I always so emotional?

Today I want to crawl into a hole.  Every aspect of life is unappealing except crawling into bed and sleeping the day away.  Clearly I am getting close to that time of the month and it is obviously wrecking havoc on my emotional state.

My primary thing is Riley its a strange dynamic some days where I over analyze what is going on in his head.  Hard place considering he is my boss, roommate/landlord, and friend but on the spectrum today I don't feel friend anywhere in the mix.  I feel landlord for sure I've had a check for rent chilling waiting for him and we never really set up a hey if I'm not around this is what to do with rent money chat so today I give it to him and I'm like dude we need a better method of delivery because shit its the 4th and so we go over some scenarios and then boom he's like FYI rent is due the 3rd...I could have hit him.  I said check the date I've had it for a while not sure what to do.  I guess I should have texted but he was at the Superbowl.  I don't know it made me feel low and I'm probably doing it to myself but really?  Like I need to be told that rent is due by the 3rd.  Ahh I don't know probably overreacting.  This all in lieu of our marketing person quitting and I am seeing my boss someone I rely on being pulled indefinitely in a different direction.  STRESS.

Eating...I just suck at having faith in any of this right now but I am eating based on macros from Eat to Preform.  I like it I just feel hungry and I think that is just a thing where I am used to eating every few hours and mindlessly snacking so I have been logging everything...everything.  So I've had a few minor bumps the last few days and primarily with fats (shocker) so when I do the 'cutting' cycle I'll make my meats lean meats like no red meats so that I can be better at cutting out the fat and being effective with the cycling.  I will be on this intro get to your macros thing until the end of February and then I'll cut for 6 weeks and get back on the maintenance for another month so on and so forth.  While I really would like to look good, I see people around me getting better and I want to as well so my main focus is feeling how food feels and using that to make me preform better.  Trust the program!!

Gym life.  I love this place more than I can explain.  It is a part of me and more days than not I feel I am a part of it.  However there are days where I feel like if I just didn't show no one would notice.  I am on the better end of females but i fear not for long.  The people who I enjoy who bring awesome energy to the space that I want to be around are dudes and unfortunately those dudes want to be around other dudes who are better and stronger than I am...I can't / won't Muscle up right now which is demoralizing couldn't even jerk today I'm so scared for my fucking shoulder.  I have missed more cleans and snatches this week than in the last few months WTF.  Aside from not improving at my rate of expectation I feel as if my 'workout buddy status' is being replaced by anyone Wheeler and Riley.  I get wanting to surround yourself with people that make you better but sometimes I'm not sure where my place is anymore.

Last but not least, school is weighing heavy this quarter.  It is worse to wait than it was to take the GRE and submit my applications.  So many potential life changes I just want to know.  My buddy got into her school of choice and will most likely be moving to ATL in May - we had this plan to do all our classes together which was great because she is smart and reliable and we are going through the same things it was easy and now I will be flying solo next quarter for the class that scares me the most.  I'm ready to either be a full time student or just an employee at this point.  Work and school are exhausting and by the weekend I have no want / desire to do anything but chill.  But I won't complain because I am a strong believer in putting in this fucking work and sacrificing in all aspects of life will ultimately help me succeed in the future....just waiting it out.

Note to self work on your patience with others...just because you're stressed out doesn't mean people are dumb or inconsiderate.  Change your perspective Jodi...

Resolutions are for the birds

Oh my god it has been so long since I've blogged and I think I need the therapy of writing down all of the shit.

Here we are almost though the first full week of January 2015 and I am resolved to stay on a healthier life path.  I took the month of December completely off from my eating as I felt in November I had made no progress.  I'm sure do to many factors including what I was eating or not eating.  While I have started back up in school, new quarter at work, still training, and working out a ton I am happier.

I have a new focus on doing the right things and fighting my lazy tendencies.  This week has been a struggle and I have succeeded.  The change in my mindset is not playing the victim.  I am busy because I choose to be I am going to school to better myself, I am training because I love teaching members, I train hard because I love the people and it completes me.  I am going to do a marathon this year and it is two fold partially because I am crazy.  I have been interested since I read Born to Run (what a cliche I am) and cemented when I read Scott Jurek's book (I even dabbled with vegetarianism but alas I love meat).  The second part is I love hiking quite possibly more than most things in my life and I really believe that the training I do for my marathon will benefit my hiking the long run.

I am back on Nick's eating plan for 8 days now and feeling good.  I made a few additions to the program like no sugar in January as well as no drinking to give myself a head start.  Kim is doing no bread so I will support her in that and not have bread either.  Bread is not really a big thing for me so its not really a change.  I haven't considered cheats like I did in the past so I'm not sure what that will look like this month.

I decide posting my shit on here will help me stay focused and dedicated to the cause.  I also started feeling like shit during workouts and pouting because of my shoulder so I decided fuck that and have fun.

Monday:
15 BS -65k
15 Renegade Rows - 30#
4 RFT
12 Lunge
12 Stiff leg Deads
12 Renegade Rows each
done w/35#

Tuesday:
6:00 on 3:00 off x3 running
4x3 Press /chins
15 DU
15 Russian KBS 24k
(:30)
x6

Wednesday:
4x2 Power Snatch (light and good)
FT
50 Burpee Box Jumps
50 Cal Row
9 something

Thursday:
5k Row 22:14
Dead 5,5,5 75k
MRI 15min
10 Deads 87k
20 Situps
30 FS w/ WB
40 BJ
2+57

Friday:
4x400 (4:00)
Weightlifting Class

Are you saying dudes or juice or jews?

I am reading this amazing book call 'The War of Art" I can't put it down.  My buddy Jonny recommended it.  Normally it wouldn't take me this long to read this book but I really have to stop every few pages to take notes.  Perhaps this book isn't amazing to everyone but it is really resonating with me.

I got a promotion/new position at work that is still in its infancy but nonetheless super exciting.  I am taking my first course towards my nursing prereqs starting in June -this has been a huge fight whether it is fighting with Admissions or my other schools about transcripts to finding out the Chem course I need to take is already full - peaks and valleys, but that is just it right the resistance I want to throw my hands up and walk away too tough.  I am finding a way though to make it happen.  I feel like this is my thing - it seems so hard and far way - scary.

I have been working with Jason on my food for just about 2 months now - I have had some bad days but all in all I am super happy with my commitment to his recommendations.  I did a fucking cleanse of just the neera juice for 10 days.  10 days!  I had lost 16 pounds by day 8 and then the weight started creeping back up (what is wrong with my body).  I flipped out when I could eat again and got super sick.  Lesson learned.  I had decided to give myself a treat 1x a week as like a sustainable diet trick - you did good this week here is a gluten free cupcake.  I always want a fucking cupcake and they are never as good as I hope.  Anyway this week a I had Mexican and an apple.  I haven't been eating corn or fruit in an attempt to be even better.  I feel the same though...why am I still fat?  Jason said due to the cleanse for the next month ish you will be weak, so I am accepting that but when is it going to come back and when does the aesthetic piece come?

Jessica is currently the bane of my existence.  Bane:  something causing misery or death.  This girl is fucking killing my spirit.  All of the sudden she became legit and her sole purpose when she wakes up is to beat me at something...anything for the day and then tell me about it and others like her fucking mom?  I know what it is like to look up to someone and want to beat them but not like this...I want to be better and I think people make others better and I thrive on that but when someone watches you working out only to see if you will beat them and when you do say dang it instead of good job and mean it.  She is literally bragging to people that she beat me on one set of the front squat.....ahhhh I digress.  The point of this rant is that we are testing this week and so everything has been taken up a notch.  So today we are working out together and we are doing the Clean TnG 10rm and I hit 10 for 50k - Jess is going to go at 48k and Jordan walks over stops her and makes her put on 51k and asking her if she wanted to be a winner and pumping her up (she gets it) I get ready to go again and he walks away.  I feel betrayed considering the dialogue we have had about Jess (how it bothers me and is clearly an insecurity).  Bothered me enough that I needed to blog and get it off my chest.  Might seem trivial but to me it was attached to a vulnerability that I felt was exploited.

In other news, I am asking Kim's sister for permission this weekend.  I feel the resistance piece with popping the question as well - but the fact of the matter is that too much energy is spent looking for friend/family support so if they can't support me than fuck it.  Also, I would like it very much if Andee would leave my brain.  She drives me nuts.

I actually feel emotionally drained after writing all of this out haha.  Changed my handle on instagram to bicepslikebiebs and I still think its hilarious.    

Low Point Extreme

As I sit here weighing in at an all time high, I am trying with all of my power to keep it together.  I cannot believe what the scale just told me.  I'm scared and depressed.  I know that thinking about it 24/7 isn't helping...

How is it that I know how to eat, I follow a regular workout plan and yet I find myself here.  Obviously, I know how to eat...the question is am I utilizing my knowledge to help myself? No.  This weekend I gave the fuck up.  Only to start back up tomorrow.

I had my thyroid tested, not even considering that was a problem until it was suggested by my doctor.  Immediately I put all my hopes on that being the answer and I can't even put into words how crushed a I was when the doctor said it was all fine.  An answer everyone else that is right in the brain would be super excited to hear.  I felt like I received a life sentence.

Enter 'gut health' I've done my research, it makes sense and I've made plans to add in the foods and supplements recommended to get back on track, if indeed this were the problem.  The thing that destroys me the most?  My inability to stick to anything food related.  How do I do this...what do I have to do to get my head right.  I NEED to succeed.

Jordan and I had this silly discussion about a bikini photo and I want to reach it by my birthday...the farther I go down this hole the less light I see.  Clearly in a really dark place right now.

Some day?